Big community funding update! November 5, Awkward guy in need of help! I currently find myself in the following situation Some of my friends male and females are trying to convince me that a girl I know is into me, in a 'let's makeout!
I really want to try and make a move but Hookup advice making the first move just do not know how. And if we both enjoy our selves then maybe some more casual encounters in the future.
Create the perfect atmosphere? We have both hung out with alone at each others apartments so inviting her to grab some food and then heading back to my place to watch a movie is not at all unprecedented in our friendship. Is she being flirty or just friendly?
Make that first move? Say that we are both sitting there in the dark watching a movie, now what? I honestly have no idea what the proper protocol is here. This girl probably won't be expecting me to do anything and she may not even WANT me to do anything. Hookup advice making the first move do we go from two friends on a couch in a dark room enjoying a movie to two friends making out?
If we start to make out, I can take it from there If only there was a step-by-step guide to hooking up! Me, my friends, and this girl are all in our early twenties. I've had previous relationships and just got out of a serious one several months ago so I am NOT inexperienced with women, I just lack the confidence and the knowledge to make that first move. Watch a movie in the dark.
Snuggle up close to her; if she physically moves away from you, it's a no. Rest your hand on her leg; if she physically moves it away, it's a no. Lean in to kiss her; if she physically turns away from you, it's a no. Kiss her; if she says no, it's a no.
Assuming there are no "nos" -- congratulations, you are now making out! I think with what you're wanting a casual fling and snice you're already friends you should just be straight up with her. If you wanted to have a relationship I think you could go different routes like asking her out on a "real date" the next time you were setting something up to see each other.
It will feel akward asking but I know the women I've been around have appreciated it. As an ovary bearing member of the species, I am kind of fond of some direct communication before a person I consider a friend starts getting physical beyond the boundaries of normal friendship.
Otherwise the confusion can cause unwanted drama and end up ruining your chances. Also, make darn sure you smell good. Couch, movie, wine, music.
No no no no. No woman has ever heard the phrase "would you be interested in having a casual sexual relationship with me" delivered cold, BEFORE any fooling around has taken place, and then given the sexual Hookup advice making the first move light. At least not on my planet. When you next see her, definitely be direct about liking her by talking to her at some length, asking her about her interests and background, remembering small and big details you hear that she grew up in Michigan!
Does that mean she lived near a lake? How did she move to X city from Michigan? Where did she go to school? If your friends are saying she's into you, it's likely that expressing interest in her personality and background will set a good foundation.
If she seems into the conversation, happily offering anecdotes and answers, then ask her on a real date. I would NOT suggest being direct, it just doesn't work that way. I don't have the patience right now to explain why. If your other friends say she's interested there's a good chance they've talked to her, and she has at least implicitly tried to get them to relay the massage. Can you confirm with your other friends if she has talked to them, or if it's Hookup advice making the first move a hunch on their part?
If the former, I think your chances are good. The best example I can think of is ask her if she wants to come over and watch a movie.
If she is interested she will say yes. In general, if she is interested, she will make it very easy for you. If it feels forced, she's not interested. For example, let's say she's over to watch a movie. You sit on the couch: Chair on the other side of the room? Other end of the couch? Yeah, add drinks into the equation. Enough to lower both parties' inhibitions. If anything is going to happen, it'll happen then.
It'll be an icebreaker, and further fooling around won't need the liquid courage component. Invite her out to do something platonic and fun. At some point, look her in the eyes and smile. Most likely, this will make you blush. This is fine, as women generally consider that charming.
If she starts flirting at this point, she's into it. Signs of flirting include: At this point, you are golden. I think going to one of your places and watching a movie is a totally acceptable thing. So is smoking weed and watching youtube. So is dancing or "clubbing", if that's your style. Inviting her back to your place for some such an activity after a night out Hookup advice making the first move friends might provide the right atmosphere.
Literally hookup advice making the first move porn clips
Honestly, I like the movie-watching plus "want to make out? Think about how awkward things will be if she's not into you and you're all over her and she has to disengage. Frankly, I had that happen to me and I hated it. Also, I'd say that as soon as possible after the initial making-out you should say something along the lines of "you're great and I'd like to keep doing this, but I figure I should tell you that I'm not looking for anything super-serious".
Because in this age of hook-ups, it sure seems like one person often is under the illusion that a real relationship is on offer when it's not, and that tends to be a buzzkill for everyone.
There's really no need to ask your friends for additional information regarding her interest. The only thing you need to know is whether YOU are interested. If you are, spend time with her. Touch her shoulder or hand when the mood strikes, like when you're both laughing about an embarrassing sweater you used to have.
Have good conversation over good food. I think having a drink or two is fine, but getting drunk is ultimately boring, as would Hookup advice making the first move intoxication on any mood-altering substance. At some point during one of your long conversations, both of you will fall silent. There won't be anything to say, and your mutual desire will be right there in front of you both.
That's the time to kiss. Learning the how and when of making a first move is something you can learn.
When I was in my early twenties I hadn't even dated. As a side-note, women who once rejected me some times come back after many years hello Facebook!
So make your move.
Besides getting practice and getting lucky, you might be laying the foundation for a future get-together. You will know if you have a green light. Get some wine, a movie, and a comfortable couch. If shes close to you and up against you, thats one green liight.